I fell into conscious parenting during my own healing journey following some sudden changes in my life that forced me to reflect on and begin healing my own unconscious behaviours. I had no idea at the time how difficult that process would be and once I began to understand in greater detail my own unhealed wounds and how they affected me and my life choices personally, I naturally began to reflect on my own approach to parenting. Like anyone who is on a similar journey, I felt at the time completely overwhelmed and panicked by the recognition of the behaviours my own child had learned through my unconscious patterns and parenting. I felt the urgency to fix and change everything, to unravel what already seemed fixed in place. I frantically researched and studied, only to end up with brain fog. I didn't know where to start, how to approach it, what to prioritise or, most importantly, how to break the cycle of unhealed behaviour that I felt responsible for.
Having gone through my own conscious parenting journey, there is one basic principle that anyone going through this journey should keep at the forefront of their own experience. Conscious parenting is not about becoming the perfect parent, and it's not about fixing all our unhealed wounds. It's actually a lot simpler. It's a beautiful journey we take with our child where we learn from each other, develop open communication and build a closer bond without blaming ourselves for what we didn't know at the time, having compassion for the ways we may have got our communication or reactions wrong. The parent-child dynamic consists of two individual humans with their own experiences, needs, emotions and opinions at different stages in life. Accepting this and learning from each other helps both parent and child navigate the relationship and this approach to conscious parenting brings the most beautiful relationship.
Our conscious parenting journey isn't about fixing, it's about educating, with patience and time being key as new experiences are learned daily through our journey with our children. It's a lifelong approach to the relationship with a deeper understanding of each other. There's no need to panic or feel overwhelmed. Each relationship is unique, shaped by our own experiences from childhood into adulthood and our child's experience is unique based on what they have learned and their own experiences. Focus on learning all the positives within the relationship that currently exists and view any areas for change or learning as an opportunity to build, grow and learn from each other. It's a beautiful journey to embrace and the deeper bond that develops through moving from traditional to conscious parenting has brought me so much more than I expected, and it's something I will continue to treasure daily.